{"id":103,"date":"2021-03-23T15:23:52","date_gmt":"2021-03-23T15:23:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/chapter\/6-of-agreeableness\/"},"modified":"2026-07-02T18:20:29","modified_gmt":"2026-07-02T18:20:29","slug":"6-friendliness","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/chapter\/6-friendliness\/","title":{"rendered":"Section 6: Friendliness"},"content":{"raw":"In social interactions, social life, and the interchange of words and deeds, some people are thought to be obsequious, namely, people who praise everything and never oppose so as to cause pleasure, and think it their duty \"to give no pain to the people they meet.\"\r\n\r\nOn the contrary, those who oppose everything and don't care at all [15]<\/sub> about causing pain are called \"disagreeable\" and \"contentious.\"\r\n\r\nThat the dispositions we have named are blameworthy is clear enough, and that the middle state is praised--that in virtue of which a person will put up with, and will resent, the right things and in the right way. But no name has been assigned to it, though it most resembles friendship. For the person who corresponds to [20]<\/sub> this middle state is very much what, with affection added, we call a good friend.\r\n\r\nThe mean state differs from friendship in that it implies no passion or affection for one's associates, since it is not by reason of loving or hating that such a person takes everything in the right way, but by being a person of a certain kind. For he will behave in a similar way towards those he knows and those he does not know, towards people he is close with [25]<\/sub> and those he is not, except that in each of these cases he will behave as is fitting. For it is not proper to have the same care for people one close with and for strangers, nor again is it the same conditions that make it right to give pain to them.\r\n\r\nNow we have said generally that the friendly person will associate with people in the right way. But it is by reference to what is noble and expedient that he will aim at not causing pain or at causing pleasure. For he seems to be concerned with the pleasures and [30]<\/sub> pains of social life. And wherever it is not noble or is harmful for him to cause pleasure, he will refuse, and will choose rather to give pain. Also, if his going along in another's action would bring great disgrace or injury, while his opposition brings a little pain, he will not approve but will decline. [35]<\/sub>\r\n\r\nHe will associate differently with people in high station and with ordinary people, with closer and more distant acquaintances, and so too with regard to [1127a1]<\/sub> other relevant differences, rendering to each class what is fitting, and while for its own sake he chooses to contribute pleasure, and avoids the giving of pain, he will be guided by the consequences (what is noble and advantageous), if these are greater. For the sake of a great future pleasure, [5] <\/sub>he will inflict small pains.\r\n\r\nThe person who attains the mean of friendliness, then, is such as we have described, although he has not received a name. Of those who are pleasant in social situations, the person who aims at being pleasant with no ulterior object is obsequious or too nice. But the person who does so in order that he may get some advantage in the direction of money or the things that money buys is a flatterer. In contrast, the person who quarrels with everything is, as has been said, disagreeable [10]<\/sub> and contentious. And the extremes seem to be contradictory to each other because the mean is without a name.","rendered":"

In social interactions, social life, and the interchange of words and deeds, some people are thought to be obsequious, namely, people who praise everything and never oppose so as to cause pleasure, and think it their duty “to give no pain to the people they meet.”<\/p>\n

On the contrary, those who oppose everything and don’t care at all [15]<\/sub> about causing pain are called “disagreeable” and “contentious.”<\/p>\n

That the dispositions we have named are blameworthy is clear enough, and that the middle state is praised–that in virtue of which a person will put up with, and will resent, the right things and in the right way. But no name has been assigned to it, though it most resembles friendship. For the person who corresponds to [20]<\/sub> this middle state is very much what, with affection added, we call a good friend.<\/p>\n

The mean state differs from friendship in that it implies no passion or affection for one’s associates, since it is not by reason of loving or hating that such a person takes everything in the right way, but by being a person of a certain kind. For he will behave in a similar way towards those he knows and those he does not know, towards people he is close with [25]<\/sub> and those he is not, except that in each of these cases he will behave as is fitting. For it is not proper to have the same care for people one close with and for strangers, nor again is it the same conditions that make it right to give pain to them.<\/p>\n

Now we have said generally that the friendly person will associate with people in the right way. But it is by reference to what is noble and expedient that he will aim at not causing pain or at causing pleasure. For he seems to be concerned with the pleasures and [30]<\/sub> pains of social life. And wherever it is not noble or is harmful for him to cause pleasure, he will refuse, and will choose rather to give pain. Also, if his going along in another’s action would bring great disgrace or injury, while his opposition brings a little pain, he will not approve but will decline. [35]<\/sub><\/p>\n

He will associate differently with people in high station and with ordinary people, with closer and more distant acquaintances, and so too with regard to [1127a1]<\/sub> other relevant differences, rendering to each class what is fitting, and while for its own sake he chooses to contribute pleasure, and avoids the giving of pain, he will be guided by the consequences (what is noble and advantageous), if these are greater. For the sake of a great future pleasure, [5] <\/sub>he will inflict small pains.<\/p>\n

The person who attains the mean of friendliness, then, is such as we have described, although he has not received a name. Of those who are pleasant in social situations, the person who aims at being pleasant with no ulterior object is obsequious or too nice. But the person who does so in order that he may get some advantage in the direction of money or the things that money buys is a flatterer. In contrast, the person who quarrels with everything is, as has been said, disagreeable [10]<\/sub> and contentious. And the extremes seem to be contradictory to each other because the mean is without a name.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":249,"menu_order":6,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[48],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-103","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry","chapter-type-numberless"],"part":92,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/249"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1034,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/103\/revisions\/1034"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/92"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/103\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=103"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=103"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ulib.csuohio.edu\/nicomacheanethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}